Times passing by, I still feel happy when she serve me giving me the cup of coffee I drink after I came from my study, after some few months I fall in love because she's so beautiful and so attractive and most important is that she is very nice to me and to everyone (all clients) which makes me feel happy and comfortable (I usually feel nervous to approach girls....).
No way to lie that I feel like the girl she serve me like me as a person or she like me as a client, but when I see her treating everyone with respect and gently I feel like she don't like me, it's just her behavior that she's nice without trying to compliment anyone just doing her job, which makes me feel happy and comfortable to know that she's a nice girl by nature.
For me I feel happy when she serve me and that's it, but when the landlord fired me from the rent I have to find a new rent and I feel like I missed her so much at that time I feel like it's not just a normal girl in my life that she gave me my cup of coffee and cake only, but she mean a lot to me, I feel like I miss her whenever I don't see her after several days of after a week, that I can't sleep (to be honest it's something that happened to me that way but only for a month when a girl she was sitting next to me had dropped out from school and married someone I used to feel alone for a month and then I have recovered), actually I don't want that feeling to be repeated and this time I feel like I'm more interested to the Calenberger princess that she melt my heart with amazing feeling and emotion that I have never have in my entire life.
I start to go taking transportation to go and get my order right there, feeling happy only when I get my order from her in person, I feel sometimes that the coffee she gave me is so delicious (I don't know if she know how to mix coffee with milk or it's just an illusion).
Speaking about feelings, I feel so happy when she gave me my order, when I'm about to order I feel so happy and comfortable, and when she gave me my drink and she came closer I feel like there's a butterfly inside my stomach, my skin have a strange movement starting from my hands moving up until reaching my shoulders, while I feel like the blood is circulating in my body with a high speed (fortunately blood can't have accident like cars 😆), and that feeling is getting slowly until she gave me my order I feel happy and comfortable when I see her (at that time I know that I like her so much and I love her more than anything).
Expressing my emotion to her is a hard thing for me to do since I don't have contact with girls too much expressing my emotions or even approaching girls when I like a girl which doesn't happen to me all the time, I tried to ask her one time to know if she can have a coffee with me outside her working hours (advice from the ex-girlfriend of my friend) but I feel like my mouth is blocked and can't say anything to her, recently I try to ask her about her name and she reject my question with a respectful way, I feel sad since everybody know the feeling of rejection, but when it comes to the girl I want her from the bottom of my heart it's even worst than being rejected from joining the school or university I want, or having the job in the company I want to work for, because everything come back and fourth, but a human soul can't go back once it's gone, when it's gone it's gone forever, so that's why I feel like I have to express everything in details to know about my situation and emotion that's why I'm writing this post so that she can read everything about my feeling via a post in this Blog post because I'm a Software Engineer hoping she can accept to have a date with me (hoping to have a serious relationship, not just a date or a passing relationship things that I don't like to do in my entire life), I'm all the time living my live normally while having hope and faith to find the princess of my life one day, a charming beautiful girl that I can feel happy with her spending the rest of my life with her, of course I'm a shy person that don't like to talk with girls or to approach or let girls approach me, but for this girl I feel comfortable to let her be with me, because everything I want and I need is found on her.
Actually, everybody knows that Software Engineers have problems finding the love of their life being attached to their computers which is a funny and true reality about me and many Software Engineers, for me I'm having more complex emotion and feeling when speaking with girls because that's how I grow up, there's a period of my life that I don't like even to talk with girls because of many private story and I'm looking for a girl that she can stay with me and understand my personal emotion, and that something that I can't have with any random girl because I don't like to spend time with girls if I don't feel comfortable about her personality and behavior because of my personal childhood and complex story that is private and no one knows about them and sometimes silence speaks more than words and it's better to keep things private until finding the partner you share true love and respect then it comes the time to talk about private things (an old saying said : it's better to keep some secret rather than being an open book) which is true because what happens to me in the previous city was only because I disclose few private information about me that bring many problems.
For me it's the first time that I have to take a decision in my life alone, deciding what I want without letting my parent taking decision and it's a hard thing to take a step, that's another reason that makes me feel uncomfortable to take a step asking her to go out, I feel so shy, so many feeling that I feel like I can't express if I want to talk with a girl, and I want to let her know about that from the beginning because they say "great things need time" nothing comes really quick.
For me, it's true that I don't know her name but I'll get to know her hoping she can be my wife, but that need to be developed by time slowly starting from getting to know each other, feeling comfortable sharing amazing moment together in the city of Hannover which is a nice city with many great place to spend time and have fun together.
For me I was wishing if she told me her name in 5 November 2023, and have a date with her the 12 November 2023, so that I can get to know her and spend a special day with her, but things doesn't worked out properly, now I wish if she can read the whole article and accept to have a date with me, for that a second successful attempt was done in the 11 November 2023, I gave her a letter with the website name hoping she can read all the story and my personal feeling with the hope to send me an email to "rachid.lennon@gmail.com" with the subject "(Ja oder Nein) other option (Yes or No)", I hope she can tell me when it's possible to have a meet-up in Hannover preferably in the 12 November 2023, but I'm open to other daytime if she isn't available.
If she says No/Nein, that means No/Nein, I have to accept her opinion and I have to respect her freedom to take decision, but for me I hope she can accept to have a positive response Yes/Ja 😅, for me no matter how much do I write I can't express everything I feel and what I have in my heart but I feel like by reading those lines she might understand the main important things if she didn't feel anything when I came all the time to the Bakery coffee.
Please don't reject the suggestion just because of the hand writing because I know I don't write very well in paper, I use keyboard only 😆.
So after some few hours that I was waiting counting every second checking her response, it was the heartbreak that she wrote an email with "No" in subject, I feel sad and try to open the email to see the reason thinking about speaking with her if there's "non-sense" reason for the rejection which is unlikely to come from a smart girl, she said that she know someone, telling me her name which was a chock for me, but for her family name was already once at her uniform she wear at work which I was sure it's Polish family name, but her first name is Arabian one, she works part-time which is a reason that I don't see her there everyday, things I know about her having part-time job having approximated counting of her weekly hours (based on the calculation I was sure she work part-time of the minimum number hours for full-time job position), I feel I got some few information about her, but since she have already someone in her life that she want him, I have to respect her opinion, her rejection is something that I don't have any control over it, she's a human being she can take decision about who want to spend time with, I feel sad but this is life there's many things you can't no matter what I have done, but surely she's a nice girl that I'll never forget like the girl I saw in my school, but to be honest she was polite and replied to me gently via email which means a lot to me compared to the situation of ignoring my request without reply or a bad reply etc.
Well this was a story that started in Pattensen (Hannover Region) and ended in the same location.
